


This Love is Ours

by EnchantedToReadYou



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Violence, but overall fluffy & not angsty !, past bullying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-02
Updated: 2013-11-11
Packaged: 2017-12-28 05:32:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/988276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnchantedToReadYou/pseuds/EnchantedToReadYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt is in love with his neighbor and new friend Blaine. Blaine who has an reputation and looks like bad news but is a fluffball at heart, at least towards him. That is why he ignores everyone trying to warn him until he discovers more about the life Blaine had tried to keep hidden from him. With good reason, because if Kurt knew, Blaine would lose him for good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Elevator Buttons and Morning Air

**Chapter 1**

Kurt wasn´t sure of the first words they had shared when they sat down on the cardboards filled with his stuff in his empty dump of an apartment. What he did remember was that they instantly clicked, which had been a surprise. Their first encounter in the elevator hadn´t ended in him getting insulted or beaten up by the guy with the tattoos and curly hair, but rather in him helping Kurt move in.  
Blaine Anderson had come into his life as a surprise and made every day special. He remembered them sharing pizza and a beer the night they met, as a thank you gift for Blaine´s help, much like they did every Tuesday and Fridays. The beer had changed into tea for Kurt when he finally admitted how much he hated beer and had only drunken it to impress Blaine, which he didn´t say out loud, and pizza into take-out foods from various countries, but overall it was still the same.

They had known each other just over a month when Kurt realized Blaine was gay as well. If kissing and groping his male best friend Sebastian on the couch was anything to go by at least. Before that day he had never known that hope could build up and crash at the same time. Either way, they stayed friends and Kurt felt so very save held by calloused hands as he shared story after story of how much life had hurt him and how he´d been forced to bear most of it all by himself. Blaine had soothed him, slept next to him that night, fingers painting senseless patterns onto his back and brought him breakfast in the morning.

Now, two months later, he didn´t see the same man when he looked at Blaine. Objectively he still looked small but his broad shoulders and strong arms promised a mean hook and added to his good looks of course. Most of the time he hid his beautiful curls under a grey or blue beanie and his body under a snug fitting sleeveless shirt or a sweater and black jeans with holes in them. From time to time he even wore a piercing in his eyebrow that accentuated his tough appearance when his tattoos were hidden. Kurt had seen the biggest one, a black panther who seemed to jump from his left upper arm onto his chest, where the cat bared her teeth at onlookers. All in all, Blaine didn´t look like someone tidy and neat Kurt would usually like the appearance of, and despite all of that he was all of that and more. Because, what Kurt saw when he looked at Blaine was gentle golden eyes, a warm smile and the curl that always escaped the beanie nowadays.

Kurt was hopelessly smitten with Blaine.

That was exactly the reason why he was outside his apartment, clutching Blaine´s favorite brand of beer to his chest using his shoe to knock on the door. Over and over he tried to tell himself that this was not to impress Blaine, not to win him over. They were just friends. They were friends and Blaine was in a relationship with chipmunk. Sebastian, he admonished himself, he is called Sebastian.

"Yeah. Coming." Blaine yelled from inside and when he opened his door Kurt tried not to look down to his exposed chest. Still he noticed a tattoo he hadn't seen yet of a relatistic looking knife sticking out of Blaine´s liver, oozing black ink. "Kurt! What are you doing here, it´s Sunday."

"Well, " Kurt said, sidestepping into Blaine´s apartment and closing the door with his butt."I knew you´d be here watching football, so I thought I´d drop by."  
Blaine smiled."With beer? That doesn´t seem like just dropping by from someone who never drinks beer."

"Just enjoy the surprise and my presence, Blaine. Not everyone has the honor of my attention."

"True." He heard him say as Kurt proceeded to go to his living room.

Even though they were neighbors in the same apartment complex, Blaine´s flat was a lot better. He had two rooms instead of Kurt´s single big one and his bathroom was big enough for the bathtub he could soak in. At least Kurt was meticulously tidy and even if they were not, his furniture looked like it was designer. Blaine was more random in his decorations, a few posters of bands here and there, flatscreen, couch and dark green walls when Kurt´s where steel grey and though not dirty, he had the tendency of having scatter everywhere.

He sat down on the spot he had unofficially claimed his, moving the music sheets away first. He glimpsed at them, recognized a Beatles song and then moved on. Neither of them was really an open book, but Blaine got downright defensive and quiet if Kurt asked too much questions or looked into places Blaine didn´t like. Therefore he did not comment on it, even if he felt the dire need to talk to him about it, maybe finally get the chance to hear Blaine sing.  
They did not share any classes apart from Dancing class, where they mostly had to dance with the girls. Lesson after lesson, Kurt wanted strong, leading hands on his back, or even lower outside of class, but he wasn´t allowed to.

The rest of the school day they spent separated, with different friends and far too much time for Kurt to daydream about him. He thought about the future, dreamt of Blaine being single and maybe, just a little into Kurt as well. They would have one apartment instead of two, a cat and a daughter. Blaine could give therapeutic singing lessons and would cheer Kurt on when he was on-stage. Their life would be pretty much perfect.

Except there was still a very long way to go to reach that goal and this was real life. Here he was, willing to break someone else's heart, just in case Sebastin had one, if Blaine cheated with him and that wasn´t him. He shouldn´t be here with beer and hopes as high as the empire state building. Not only did Blaine have a boyfriend, what he did have too was a bad reputation. Many friends, including Rachel had warned Kurt not to get too close to him, but there was nothing he could do against ignorant people. He knew better than them because despite his prejudices he indeed had had, he let Blaine in and found a friend. Someone as sweet as an innocent child and as caring as a parent should be at its core.

His eyes flickered up when he felt a weight settle on the other side of the couch and saw Blaine, halfway lying on the couch and looking at the screen where a lot of football players did some homoerotic pile on top of each other. How people could call any of that "manly" was beyond him. He´d rather watch Blaine, the carefree smile twitch whenever something happened on the field and his huge brown eyes ablaze with joy. Kurt was so enamored with him that he was not quick enough to avoid being caught staring.  
"You´re not watching the game." Blaine stated, his triangle eyebrows narrowed in confusion.

It was as if he couldn´t comprehend someone not liking what he was so involved in, a feeling that Kurt knew all too well growing up being different from other boys.  
"I am. Just because I look over to you, wondering why you don´t put on a shirt, doesn´t mean I´m not enjoying the game."  
Blaine stood up and found a shirt he then put on with Jack Daniels logo on it and sat down again."All done, but don´t pretend it bothers you to see men half-naked." Kurt blushed, desperately trying to convince Blaine that it wasn´t true. "And are you?"

"Am I what?" Kurt asked, voice high with anticipation. Would he lie if Blaine asked him if he liked his body?

"Are you enjoying the game?"

"Uhm." He mumbled, deflating in relief and disappointment."Yes. Totally."

"Kurt, come on. Name one football player on the field and I might believe you."

"James-"

"James Ryan?"

Kurt nodded, smiling in triumph until Blaine started laughing. When blood gathered in his cheeks this time, it was because he felt humiliated. Not only did he feel ridiculed, he also didn´t know what was so funny.  
"James Ryan-" Blaine wheezed."Like the Private James Ryan?"

"Okay, okay. I get it. You are the football watching alpha-gay and I am the cliché one. But believe it or not, there actually is a reason for me hating football."

The laughter stopped and through the twinkle left in his eyes, Blaine looked at him curiously. With one press on the mute-button the room got silent and the situation turned serious just as quickly. Actually all Kurt had wanted was to stop feeling inferior and ridiculed, so he had said that, but thinking about it he had any reason to hate football. He just wasn´t sure if after such a short time knowing him, he could trust Blaine with that. Sometimes, right before he fell asleep, he remembered the night Blaine had slept next to him because he had been so upset, causing shivers running through his body. Blaine seemed to have caught wind of the mood swing in Kurt because he slid closer, one hand resting on Kurt´s knee.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" He asked, one thumb rubbing Kurt´s skin reassuringly. This was exactly the thing that had brought on the first break-down a month ago, only then he hadn´t told everything.

"Do you remember what I told you the last time? About- About the slushies they threw at me in high school, or the words they said in the hallways?"

"Of course." Blaine said and when he went on his voice was icy with contempt."That still makes me wanna punch those people."

Kurt flinched a bit, shaking off Blaine´s hand in the process. "That is sort of the problem."  
"What is?"

He took a deep breath. "Violence. I know this is just something you say, not something you´d really do if it came to it, but they didn´t stop with words and that is exactly why I hate violence, even if it´s just in a game."

"What do you mean, Kurt." Blaine´s gentle hand cupped his cheek to make Kurt look into his eyes."What exactly did they do?"

He smiled despite the pain that came with memories."They didn´t beat me up, if that is what you´re thinking. They just shoved me against lockers, tripped me and put me into portable toilets they then turned over or into dumpsters which was really worse on my clothes than it was physically, but apart from that-"

"Apart from-. Kurt, are you listening to yourself? That they didn´t break any bones doesn´t make it better. What they did to you was inhuman and wrong and you have any reason to despise violence. I am so sorry."

He tried to remain strong, smile it away like other´s did when they heard that it ´wasn´t even that bad´, but the tears still came, hot and fast running over his lips still set in a smile. Blaine hesitated but after a few seconds he began to rub his back in the same way he had done a month ago. His calloused fingers drawing lines up and down on his canvas of skin.  
"No one does that to you here, right? You have to tell me if someone at school bothers you!"

"No." Kurt croaked."I finally feel accepted here."

"That is how it should be. You and me, we dare to be different and people don´t understand that. They look at you and see the colors and clothes and judge. They look at me, see the tattoo and the piercing and judge. That is what small-minded people do. They throw rocks at things that shine, hoping to bring stars down from the sky. But we keep on shining, right Kurt?"

I love you so much. "Yes. We keep on shining, Blaine."

* * *

Kurt woke up cuddled into Blaine´s side, taking one look that made his heart melt before closing his eyes again. His heart won against his brain right then, letting him have this moment in bliss without any worries. He remembered the awkward way Blaine had tried to do everything just the way he thought Kurt wanted it the day before, every motion jerky and not like him. They ended up with two pizzas, sushi and raspberry-cheesecake because Blaine hadn´t been sure what to order for a sad Kurt. They didn´t eat all of that and by half of it Kurt wasn´t sure if it was his stomach that was full or his heart. The TV had long been switched off without further comment and ignoring the beer, both had drunk tea. It was easily the best night of Kurt´s life and coupled with the morning after, only sex could have upped that. But eventually the magic was bound to end when Blaine woke-up.

"Good mornin´. Do you feel better?"

Kurt couldn´t help but shiver when Blaine picked up the lazy pattern on his back again. "No."

"No?"

"How can I if you blinded me with your shinyness, Mr. Star?"

Blaine snorted and gave him a light slap, before thinking better of it and rubbing his hand as if to soothe the place. "Are you mocking me?"

"Sorry I couldn´t help myself. I´ll give you make-up coffee as compensation."

"Med-"

"Medium drip. I know, because you are predictable." Kurt finished his sentence. Reluctantly he got up, regretting it when Blaine´s hand fell away. He had already crossed the room when he heard him say:

"And you are cute."

Not knowing what to say, Kurt was glad he could feign obliviousness.

The rest of the morning passed with their normal banter and no further words that let Kurt´s throat tighten with hope. They showered in separate apartments to then meet up in front of the elevator like they did every school morning.

"Ready for Mrs. Heisner and her cat?"

"I´m telling you, it is just a short dog with a weird tail." Kurt replied, having had this conversation several times.

"And I am telling you that I heard it meow this one day."

"Yeah, this one day I stayed home and you had to ride alone and the dog made a noise for the first time. How believable is that, Blaine?"

Blaine laughed, his eyes getting even bigger with happiness. Kurt watched his Adam's apple bounce up and down before glancing at the few parts of his panther tattoo that were visible in his sleeveless top. Like a kid caught with his hand in a cookie jar, he quickly looked away before he could get caught again.

"I am telling you the truth." explained Blaine

"If it is you will have no problem asking her how her dog is today, right badboy?"

Blaine turned to him when the elevator arrived with a pling. His one pierced eyebrow rose at the nickname.

"Sure."

They entered the elevator and as predicted, Mrs. Heisner with her dog and Mr. Simons in his jogging suit were there in time like clockwork. They nodded at Blaine´s cheery ´Good morning´ and went back to being background characters in Kurt´s life. There never had been a day they weren´t anything but dismissive and their only sign of life were their vacant stares.

Kurt looked over when he heard the sound and saw Blaine´s face red and puffy, his lips pressed tightly. For a second he didn´t understand but when laughter filled the air, he couldn´t hold back either. It was ridiculous and without a real reason but they laughed all the way down to ground level, ignoring them. It was just such an awkward mood in the elevator that laughter was the only plausible way to react.

"Is that a dog or a cat?" Blaine asked, voice breathy before they got off.

Mrs. Heisner was startled at being acknowledged, but then her expression turned sour. The doors began to close behind them and the last this I heard was: "Oh my, Poutchy is a –" and then the elevator whooshed down to the garage.

Blaine and Kurt looked at each other, and a second later they leaned against each other, holding their aching stomachs while they continued laughing.

"Poutchy-" Kurt wheezed.

"Poutchy is actually a new species-"

"This is fate." Kurt tried to take a deep breath to stop from laughing."This is the universe telling us that Pouchy shall forever remain the living version of Catdog."

The whole way to school they talked about the shows they had watched as children, Blaine liking Digimon and Pokemon better while Kurt was devoted to Powerrangers and Disney shows, though they had mutual feelings about the last one. What was a ten minutes walk felt like seconds to Kurt and far too soon they had to split in the hall, both of them returning to a totally different life. Not for the first time Kurt thought about visiting Blaine in the breaks to get to know his friends, but he was afraid of rejection and decided against it. He did have Blaine for himself tomorrow, no reason to be selfish.

And Blaine still had the little thing known as boyfriend.

With a sigh in his mind, in his mind because he didn´t want to be dramatic alone, he made his way to his first class. It was essentially listening to people sing, then put down about it and then the next one got the chance to be told he sucked. Rachel Berry was the lucky bastard that got no critique and when she sat down next to him, her smile was bright enough to light the room with her teeth.

"Kurt, life is wonderful. I mean, here I am, I overslept and thus missed my morning practice and I still hit all the notes."

"Great."

He jumped in his seat when she leaned forward in his field of view. Her brows were furrowed and the jealousy he hated to admit drowned instantly. He loved Rachel, even if it was hard to remember that sometimes.

"Did something happen?" she asked, concern apparent in her voice. The doorbell rang without his name being called and they got up.

"Actually, it did. But you need to promise me not to flip out again."

"It concerns Blaine, doesn´t it?" Rachel pulled him in the next best room, lucky enough to find it empty. Damn Rachel and her good life. Mirrors reflected her angry and disappointed looks aimed at Kurt and he sighed at the poor choice of location. But somehow he still chose to tell her the truth, wanting to share his happiness with the world.

"Yes. Of course it´s about him. And it was magical."  
"Oh god, don´t tell me you slept with him. He has a boyfriend, Kurt."

He shook his head. When he sat down against one of the walls, she remained looming over him.

"He never actually said that they were in a relationship. I mean, he introduced him as his friend." Kurt tried to defend himself, not believing his own words.

Rachel only shook her head, finally letting go of her judging stance and settling beside him. "So you did sleep with him?"

"No. I maybe had the intention to, but then one thing happened and led to another and I ended up confessing the whole sitaution at McKinley for me. We ordered dinner and went to bed cuddling. And instead of the awkward silence that happened the last time we woke up, he just remained rubbing my back and I had the best morning of my life."  
"That sounds like there is more to it!"

"I think he called me cute."

She smiled but remained quiet after that. Just a few seconds because this was Rachel he was talking about and Rachel always had to talk her mind. "That is great and all, but-"  
"But? Rachel, I know what you think of him, but if you actually bothered to get to know him, you would be so smitten by him. He is the nicest guy I know."

"And the only guy you gave a chance for your heart." She continued his sentences. She slid over the floor to sit opposite of him and took his hands."Kurt, there are rumors about him and once you hear them you will never want to speak to him again."

He ripped his hands away from hers."They are called rumors for a reason." With that he stood up and walked out, leaving his best friend and himself with a lot of misery they wouldn´t have if she only met the real Blaine.

* * *

Mondays sucked, and this Monday did so even worse because not only was Kurt Hummel mad, but as always he had to walk home alone because Blaine had ´somewhere to be´. He never questioned what he did, because he assumed there was a reason if Blaine wasn´t specific, but he did wonder and guess.

Atrocious stories formed in his head about Blaine´s whereabouts, but they were mostly linked with Sebastian which did nothing to calm him down. He gave up thinking about it, concentrating on the music he listened to and being glad when he finally arrived at the apartment complex. Up with the empty elevator he got off on his floor and stopped in his motion when he saw a girl kicking Blaine´s door. Even over his fairly loud music he heard her scream.

"Open the fucking door, Anderson. You think you can hit him? Huh? Hit me! Hit me you fucker."

She looked ferocious and Kurt was in no mood to talk to a stranger, but curiosity about her words won him over.

"Hey, uhm, excuse me?"

The girl twirled around, her fist still raced and he shrunk a little before reminding himself that there was no reason for her to hit him so he straightened his back and forced a smile.

"Blaine is not here, so there is no point in destroying his door I´m afraid." Kurt said.

"Fuck!" She paced a little before looking up at him."Sorry I must seem like a mental case to you. I´m Cassie and I swear this looked way better in my head than it probably did in reality."

Kurt relaxed a bit once he didn´t feel the threat any longer. Without anger lining her face, she was actually pretty with her red curls and freckles.

"I´m Kurt." He replied, shaking her outstretched hand."No problem. I am lucky my melt-downs are so easily cured with ice-cream. So, may I ask how you know Blaine?"

"He beat my boyfriend and I came to give him a piece of my mind. In retrospect that doesn´t seem like the best idea I´ve ever had."

Kurt had heard her scream that before but even now it didn´t make much sense. Sure, Blaine looked tough with his tattoos and his broad shoulders, but he was a cupcake at heart. One time a few weeks ago, he had saved a spider that had been in danger of being stomped on by Kurt and then told him how important every animal was. This Blaine, spider friendly Blaine, was supposed to have hit someone?

"What do you mean he hit your boyfriend? What happened? Was there a fight or-"  
"Do you know Blaine?" She interrupted him, making it sound like an accusation.

"Yeah, I do." He snapped back.

"Apparently not well enough because if you did, you´d know how he earns his money with beating up innocent people." Cassie yelled, but in the matter of seconds she took deep breaths and then looked apologetic again. "Sorry. Just…We were supposed to have our Christmas photos taken and now John looks like an over-ripe fruit in the face."

She pressed the button, opening the elevator that was still on their level. "If you see him, please be so kind and pinch him just a little." Before the doors closed and he had a chance to ask about what she knew about Blaine, because he was very much confused, he heard a ´bye Kurt´ and Cassie was gone.

Even hours later, Kurt couldn´t make sense of her and there was only one conclusion: she mistook Blaine for someone else. But why did she know his name and where he lived? There was only one person that could answer that and he´d see him the following morning. Until then Kurt was alone with million thoughts battling inside his head to defend Blaine.

* * *

They had walked to school together, went home together and yet Kurt could never bring up the courage to ask him what Blaine´d have to say to the accusation of punching someone. Between what cereal they had and what teacher had been annoying, there was no way to fit: ´so you hit someone´s boyfriend´ into their conversation.

There was still hope left that he dared to ask when they´d hang out at Blaine´s place like they did every Tuesday. This time Kurt had fit in the backing of cookies into his schedule and with a batch of them he went over, knocking and waiting while their heat warmed his hands.

When the door opened he held them out for Blaine to see, only to come to a halting stop when it was Sebastian, smirk in place, greeting him on the doorstep.

"Kurt, you shouldn´t have." He said, taking a cookie and then a bite."Were cooking skills in the whole cliché-gay package you're your atrocious clothes?"

"Fuck off, Bas! Come on in, Kurt. Just ignore the idiot in the hall, he is just here to give us headaches." Blaine´s eyes widened at the sight of the batch."Are those self-baked Hummel cookies?"

Startled Kurt looked down as if to reassure himself of what he had made, before he replied with a nod. Meerkat Sebastian wasn´t exactly his favorite person, even if he´d never admit to liking their banter. It was just something they did whenever Blaine wasn´t near, so Kurt bit back all the nasty comments on his tongue and entered the apartment.  
"Cool, I didn´t know you could bake. Can I have some?"

"What do you think he brought them over for? For him to sit in front of you and torture you because he eats them all by himself?" Sebastian asked, plopping down on the couch. Unnoticed by Blaine he offered Kurt a seat beside him while wearing a smile that promised no good.

"Oh, I forgot." Blaine replied, sitting on the couch while Kurt had taken a seat in the recliner opposite of them."I should have remembered that you have never been taught what manners are."  
"I do know what manners are. I wait until  _after_  the first date before fucking guys into the table."

Kurt´s cheeks turned scarlet red and he went over to analyzing every crumb in the cookies to avoid being seen. It was bad enough having the meerkat here, ruining their Tuesday, so why did he have to hear about their sex? When he dared to glance up he saw the table and returned his gaze to the cookies. God damnit, he had eaten at that table.

"Shut up!" Blaine hissed."No one here wants to hear your filthy businesses with slu-uhm boys."

Blaine didn't need to correct himself, Kurt was no stranger to the way people were. He knew that their behavior changed a bit according to the people surrounding them and Blaine was no exception. While he was still gentle and nice to Kurt, he tended to cuss at Sebastian and occasionally shove him or kick his butt. To this day it had amused Kurt more than anything else since he was the one being treated kindly, but knowing those two were in a relationship did nothing to lessen the sting today. Instead of an exception, he felt excluded.

"I just wanted to bring you those cookies because I made too much." He lied and stood up."I have stuff to do so I´ll have to leave you two alone now."

"Don´t bother leaving the cookies here, they taste like poverty." Sebastian commented.

"I said shut the fuck up." Kurt froze even though Blaine´s words were not meant for him. In the contrary. When he continued speaking, his voice was calm and gentle."Please stay Kurt. I swear if the idiot doesn´t stop talking shit I´ll kick him out. Let´s just order pizza and watch a movie. I think I have more DVD´s in the storage room I could get. Please. I´ll die without your cookies."

He wanted to go home and sulk, but the puppy eyes were irresistible so he sat down with a huff."I´ll get to decide though. And Sebastian doesn´t get any more cookies."  
"Deal!" Like the oversized teddy bear Blaine really was, he tackled Kurt and the recliner and then hurried off, two cookies in his hands.

Being alone with Sebastian always felt like they were two snakes, rising up and ready to strike. It was not like he hid his nasty side from Blaine, okay maybe he did, but somehow it was much easier to have a bitch-fight without him in between.

"You should be lucky Blaine kicks ass the way he does, since otherwise you would go home crying because you couldn´t handle my well-meant truth about you. I almost choked on the cookies because they tasted like the glitter that fell off of your skin."

"Strange. Last night I had the best possible dream about you choking. Too bad though that you have big enough teeth to chew food."

Sebastian smiled and without the humiliation that came with someone hearing the insults about Kurt, he almost had fun. Almost.

"I know how to chew food, but I was startled when I saw you today because you wear a weird mix between girl and boy clothes that confused me for a second."

"Why don´t you do all of us a favor and crawl back into your den?" Kurt said with a faked nice voice just as Blaine entered the room. Oblivious to the situation he balanced a stack of DVDs he then sat on the table.

"Did I miss something?"

"No." They answered in sync, for the first time sharing one opinion.  
The rest of the evening was spent watching Lady and the Tramp and then Fast and the Furious. Kurt was lucky they didn´t cuddle on the couch, probably courtesy to him.

By the second movie he couldn´t concentrate any longer, so instead he worked up the courage to ask what was long overdue. The credits were running, no one saying a word when he spit it out.

"Since when have you two been dating?"

Kurt looked at them looking at each other, both awkwardly silent before Sebastian literally crawled over to Blaine and began stroking his inner thigh. As much as he wanted to look away, he couldn´t when Blaine gasped. He didn´t understand what was going on, but felt a deep satisfaction when Blaine's expression turned angry and Sebastian was shoved down to the floor.

"Come on, it was fun." Sebastian protested."You should have played along, Blainers."

"I know your playing along. You wouldn´t have stopped until we put on a live porn for him."

Kurt cleared his throat, receiving attention of both of them. There was no place he´d rather not be than here with a couple being the cockblock.

"Can someone explain?" He asked.

"Oh Kurtsy, as if someone could keep that wild horse inside a stable." Sebastian said, pointing at himself

"What Bas meant to say is," Blaine explained, glaring at the boy to his feet. "that we´re not dating. The one time you saw us was just that. A one time thing."

"Oh."Kurt uttered."Oh."

"Why, were you jealous?"

Despite the urge to hurt Sebastian he just sat there shaking his head a little too urgently. By now Blaine would have kicked him into his place, but today that was not the case. Blaine just looked at Kurt as if he needed to know the answer.

"I was just curious." He hurried to explain.

The doorbell rang in that moment, announcing the arrival of their dinner and the way in which Blaine practically ran off to the door confused Kurt. He spent a few seconds staring at the door Blaine had left through before looking over to Sebastian who had started speaking.

"You know Hummel, despite your unclear gender, I kind of like you, so take what I say as a sort of my way to make amends." Kurt lifted one eyebrow, listening sharply but prepared to be hurt verbally.

"Blaine likes you. Just look at him pretending to be a good guy for you when he clearly isn´t. I mean he didn´t even hit or kick me today. And he said he´d try giving up his…hobby for you."

And that was when Kurt realized it too. Blaine did that for him because he knew that he didn´t like violence. For the first time he felt a glimmer of actual hope for more than friendship in his gut and for the rest of the day, not even Sebastian´s sharp tongue cut put down the smile on his lips. Little did he know that that would change soon.

 


	2. The water is rough

Chapter 2

 

Forgotten were all those questions about the mysterious case of Blaine being responsible for someone´s suffering as Kurt lost his head when spending time with Blaine. With single Blaine, the one potentially having a thing for him. On some days questions were right at the tip of his tongue, waiting to be shared through touch and taste.  
Do you like me? Do you really, really like me?  
His lips remained sealed though, his mind remembering all the times he had been rejected and being afraid of repetition. At night he would promise himself to do better the next day, just to blush and giggle at everything Blaine said and going to bed with another promise. He´d have complained about himself if it weren´t for content he felt just being friends.   
Over the span of a week they had gotten much closer, shoulders brushing while they watched movies, Blaine occasionally shedding some light on small secrets like his favorite song and the constant hand on Kurt´s shoulder or arm whenever they talked. It was as if Kurt had unwillingly built up a barrier between them that was now gone after Sebastian was out of the picture. While his boundaries were gone he could feel him tumbling closer and closer to the edge he would hardly be able to climb up again once tipped over.   
Sitting in Blaine´s living room, on his own place while his head rested on Blaine´s shoulder, he felt rough hands, skin hard from work Blaine never talked about, knuckles red from activities unknown, drawing gentle circles into the skin of his knee. His touch was feather light, just like the way he treated Kurt when he was rough to the rest of the world.   
Kurt snuggled closed, hiding parts of his face inside Blaine´s neck as the heat crept up his cheeks. It was embarrassingly easy to slip into this kind of friendship with the potential of more when it felt like this. The hair in Blaine´s nape tickled Kurt´s forehead and wave over wave swept him further into a state of total bliss.  
“Tired, Kurty?”  
“Yeah. Sometimes I think school sucks out not only or energy but parts of our soul as well.”  
Blaine chuckled, his chest vibrating under Kurt´s hand. He was startled and wanted to scramble up when he felt Blaine lean back into the couch, but he was gently held back from that. Soft strokes on his back kept him in place while he relaxed into his new position. Habitually he tried to lessen his weight that was now pressing on Blaine’s lying body until he was tired of it.   
Through the thin fabric of Blaine´s shirt he could hear his heartbeat drumming like a clock, louder than the background noises of a rom com running on the TV. Kurt sighed, closing his eyes against the suddenly too bright screen.   
“What was the Beatles song for?” Kurt asked in a hushed manner. Somehow the atmosphere seemed to call for that.  
“What Beatles song? I heard one of their songs was supposed to be about an egg but the producers didn´t like it. Was it Yesterday?”  
“While that sounds like an interesting story I actually meant the sheets for a song I found on your couch last week.”  
Kurt´s eyes were heavy when he attempted to open them so he gave up trying. Against the dark he drew shapes onto Blaine´s upper chest, from time to time letting a heart slip into the otherwise thoughtless scribbles.   
“Oh. Oh those were for- school. Uhm we had this assignment-“  
Kurt smiled despite the disappointment that settled in.”You are such a terrible liar, it´s not even funny.”  
“Am not!”  
“oh-ohm-oh yes you are.” Kurt mocked him. His tired eyes opened right when they heard the deep laugh, as if straining to see it like they hadn´t before. He was pretty sure that his heart beat wildly enough that Blaine could feel it.  
“Fine. If you make fun of me you will never hear the song I wanted to sing to you.”  
It had slipped out, that much was clear by the Blaine slapping his face right after. Through the spaces between his fingers his amber eyes peeked through judging Kurt´s reaction. Apparently he deemed himself safe because shortly after he freed his face of his hand and startled Kurt by singing.  
Throughout the song their eyes never looked away, barely blinked because neither wanted to break the spell. It was “Can´t buy me love” and sung with such passion and emotion that Kurt certainly felt sad it ended so soon. His skin felt cold without the constant humming of Blaine´s chest.  
“Blaine, your voice is beautiful. Why make me wait so long to hear you sing?”  
When he felt a hand gentle settling his head back on Blaine´s chest he let it. This time his eyes closed and wouldn´t open up again. Not even when he heard him answer: “You will have to be patient with me. I am not an open book for anyone to read but you´ll get one secret at a time.”  
Kurt stirred. “Are they the good kind of secrets or the Desperate Housewives ´I-buried-a-corpse-of-the-man-I-murdered´ kind?”  
“You´ll know when you get them.”  
Wanting to tease him into spilling his beans, Kurt started to tickle Blaine´s side. The body under his rocked and squirmed to make it stop.  
“Tell me! Tell me now.” He demanded. ”I want to know all of your secrets.”  
He was prepared for their usual banter and teasing but not for the rather harsh words coming from Blaine that turned the situation dead serious.  
“No! Just stop asking these damn questions!”  
Kurt´s eyebrows furrowed and had it not been for the gentle gaze returning to Blaine´s hateful eyes, he would have gotten up and left. Instead he felt his stiff body and his confused mind be settled and relaxed by soft strokes through his hair. Maybe he really had overstepped his boundaries. He had known that Blaine was defensive when it came to himself, just not to which degree.  
“Sorry. That came out wrong.” Blaine apologized and Kurt closed his eyes once more. “Sometimes I am rather secretive about myself but I´m really trying with you.”  
“I know. I shouldn´t have pressured you.”  
“Shh. Let´s just forget this and go back to being awesome. Do you wanna hear another song? I mean, if you want to.”  
Kurt grinned, snuggling further into the warm and firm chest that was the best pillow he had ever had. The hands over his body made him feel save and loved.  
“I´d love that.”  
~  
Kurt woke up in the middle of the night. His body had not shifted, it still lay on Blaine´s like they were Lego pieces stuck together. The bright light of the TV pinched in his eyes so he averted looking at the ad about some kitchen device and at Blaine instead.   
His usually cheeky or dark features were gone at sleep, leaving a relaxed face and a gentle half-smile. His long lashes fanned over his cheeks and through his nose soft snoring noises escaped that Kurt would use if he ever had to blackmail him.  
In this state of peace, Kurt closed his eyes once more and let the warmth of another body drag him back into the world of dreams.  
~  
The next time he awoke it was too loud banging against the door and a muffled voice that hid no anger of whoever thought it was important to wake them on a Saturday morning. Not quite coherent in his thoughts, Kurt sleepily rubbed his face on Blaine´s shirt. It smelled like him and for a second Kurt forgot why he had awoken and just sniffed a bit longer to commit it to his memories.   
A more persistent knocking ripped him out of his mind state and he wanted to make the sounds shut up in the only way he could. Blaine was sleeping like a log, not even stirring when Kurt awkwardly lifted himself off his body and walked over to the front-door. No attempt of ridding himself of his bed-hair or hand-ironing his shirt worked so he gave up trying and opened the door.   
For a second the two men stared at one another, both confused to see a stranger, but then they were set in motion again. Kurt yelped quietly when the stranger strode in and pushed him a little in the process.   
“Hey! How about you tell me who you are before entering this apartment?”  
The man of Asian heritage looked at him long and hard before a smirk broke the sinister expression.  
“I would if I didn´t know that it´s not very likely that I´m going to see you again. So I´ll just call you Thing number 44 and ask you to wake Blaine. We have something important to discuss, so the morning sex will have to-“He gave him a condescending look. ”wait.”  
Taken aback and tired he took a few seconds to reply. He knew people like that, had faced bullies often enough to not back down. ”I don´t know what you´re implying but I assume small brains only process carnal needs like hunting and sex, so you are excused.”  
He didn’t see him do it, Kurt only felt it when he was pressed to the wall by his collar, knuckles pressing into his throat. His head throbbed where it had collided with the bricks and nausea swept though his body at the numerous painful sensations.  
“You better shut up or I will show you your place by breaking your legs and making you crawl.”  
“I-“  
“You have insulted the wrong man. Do I look like someone like you would have a chance against me? Huh? Why so quiet suddenly? Cat got your tongue?”  
He tried to remain strong and yet he couldn´t help but feel tears brim in his eyes while he defiantly didn´t lower them. The knuckles only pressed harder into his neck, making him choke a little and causing the stranger to smile. Kurt struggled, trying to kick him where he knew the stranger wouldn´t recover quickly but all attempts were futile.  
“Let go of him.” Another voice said, no trace of sleep left the boy recently had had. It was the dangerous tone Kurt had expected of Blaine when he had first met him in the elevator.  
“Why?” The man demanded while making no attempt of complying.”You really have to show your new Thing its place. It has to learn to be submissive and quiet when men are around.”  
“I said let go!”  
The next thing Kurt knew was that he could breathe normally again and that the fear he felt was not because of the stranger, but because of Blaine. He couldn´t recognize the man he had fallen in love with in the angry features or the sudden outburst. It felt like facing two strangers now. One was pressing his attacker against the wall, not unlike he had been seconds ago, the other having lost its superior stance.  
“Come on, Killer. Why so defensive? It was retribution for insulting me. We both know you understand when things get a little out of hand.”  
“Don´t fucking touch him. Don´t!” Blaine screamed.  
“Calm down! Look, I brought your pills and you will get them after tonight. You´ll have all evening to work off your pent up anger, just let me go alright?”  
“I don´t care you fucker! Don´t touch him! Don´t even look at him!”  
Kurt shuddered and backed up a little. He told himself he didn´t have to be afraid of Blaine, that he knew the real him. But how come he had never seen this side? This dangerous rage emitted from someone he thought off as fluffball? He just didn´t understand.   
“Okay. I won´t! Now calm the fuck down, you are having this phase again and I think you are scaring this Th- him.”  
“Don´t even mention him you little fucker or I´ll forget myself!”  
His voice was tinier than he wanted to make it when he said: ”Blaine? It´s okay. I-I-I´m alright.” When that didn’t have the effect he had longed for he carefully approached them and gently tried prying off Blaine´s hands of the man. “Please let go.”  
“But he fucking threatened you. He dared to hurt you!” Blaine roared, not a tad bit calmer. Only now his rage was intended for Kurt was well. “After all you´ve been through he just came into my home and did that to you!”  
“Actually he was the first to-“ The man quipped in just to be silenced by another outburst.  
“Shut up! Shut the fuck up!”   
There they stood, silent and unmoving. Only the harsh breath of Blaine could be heard for a few moments until he set in motion, pacing back and forth and running his hands through his hair repeatedly. Kurt watched, his fear slowly vanishing until it swung right back at him when he watched Blaine hit the brick wall.  
“Shit!” Blaine yelled. “Shit you fucking- shit.”  
While he continued screaming profanities and raising his fist to pounce it mercilessly into the wall, Kurt walked up to him on autopilot. His mind was screaming in fright but he just wanted Blaine to stop hurting himself and he was delusional enough to believe calming words and a gentle touch would make that happen.  
He never found out if it had because the stranger grabbed his wrist and yanked him back. The quiet whimper that left his mouth snapped Blaine out of his mindset and right into another rage when he saw Kurt´s arm being held by the man.  
“I said you are not allowed to touch him!”  
“Get out of here, idiot.” The man hissed at him.  
He was thrust through the door hat was shut right behind him. His breathing was labored while he stared at the door, hearing the muffled yells and profanities. Between that and thuds he couldn´t comprehend yet, he heard his name being yelled.   
With shaky legs he made his way over to his apartment, seeking a place he would feel save again. For now he couldn´t form a clear thought and his hands shook heavily when he tried to press the key into the lock. Somehow he made it inside shortly after, but not much further because his legs gave in right after. Not even the cool wood of his door helped calming his warm body. Especially not when the walls were thin enough to hear every word that was yelled by the two men.   
He tried to make sense of the fight but he was not in a state to think clear thoughts. Soon words were replaced with silence, but it didn´t help his heart slowing down. Silence could mean very different things and he wouldn´t want his mind to go there.   
He strained to listen, only met with eerie quiet until a loud bang made him jump. Loud steps indicated someone getting closer and they were followed by heavy knocks shaking the door and him right with it.   
“Kurt! Kurt open the fucking door. I need to know you´re okay.”  
Torn between wanting everything to be alright again and actually being scared of this Blaine he didn´t know he remained sitting. He just couldn´t bring himself to open the door to a stranger.  
“Kurt! Please just open the door! He is gone! It´s just me!” Blaine yelled, his voice getting more desperate with each word.  
Another heavy banging on the wood.  
“Open the door for me. Please! He won´t hurt you. I just- I really need to see you!”  
“It’s not him I´m afraid of.” Kurt whispered. He pressed his face into his bend knees.   
“Kurt, please! Kurt open the door.”  
The pleading went on for several minutes, broken once when a neighbor complained about the ruckus before back paddling inside after Blaine had snapped at him.   
He heard the last attempt a bit later when the tears were already flowing down his cheeks.  
“Kurt. Kurt just- please. I´m so sorry.”  
Then the steps retreated, down the stairs, making the silence louder than Kurt had ever heard.  
~  
He had never thought avoiding someone could be that hard. Not only did he have to get up earlier and alone, riding the elevator without Blaine was bleak. Even harder was convincing his heart that he was okay without him and that what he did was right.   
But the hardest, the one thing that kept him awake at night, was not being scared anymore and having clear enough thoughts to know that Blaine wouldn´t hurt him. Stranger or not, Blaine would never hurt him, of that he was sure. One week passed with ignoring Blaine and the longing increased. Still, if it had not been for one of Rachel Berry´s rants about Blaine and school and love, he wasn´t sure if life had gone as it did.   
While it did peak his interest and he was just about to finally listen to the rumor, someone knocked on his door.  
“-and then he just cut me off. I have never felt that way and soon I-“  
“Sorry, Rach. Someone is at the door. I have to go.”  
He could hear Blaine ask through the wood, this time almost a little too quiet. The protests of Rachel went unheard as he blindly pressed the button to end the call.   
His hand remained on the doorknob for a long time and yet not long enough to make his heart slow its beat. When he finally brought himself to give in to the longing ache he was face to face with a basket with legs. His eyebrows rose in confusion before Blaine´s head emerged from behind the various gifts inside of the basket.   
“Kurt, can I come in? Or could you at least take this as an apology, because I might drop it any second.”  
Kurt stepped aside to let him enter, watching a DVD fall from the pile. Blaine proceeded going into the living room section of his home, while he picked it up. It was Mulan, Kurt´s favorite.  
“What exactly is this, Blaine?” He asked coming into the room. The things brought with Blaine now lay scattered on his couch table, Blaine behind it nervously rubbing his wrist. After such a long time not seeing him, Kurt still know any shade his eyes could have even if they were currently looking at the floor.  
“This is my way of apologizing for being the biggest jerk. I didn´t know what to get you. Flowers seemed too simple, playbills too much. So I bought anything I remembered you mentioning you liked. M & M´s, Nerds, hot cocoa with whip cream- though I just bought the ingredients and I thought I´d make it for you while you relaxed with some wine and a good DVD. And yunno, Snuffle-“ Blaine held up a little toy crocodile, it´s filling flattened with time and it´s green fabric darkened.”I had him since I was three and he way with me when I was scared at the dentist or had nightmares and I thought-. I thought you needed him.”  
“Why do you do that?”  
Blaine took a couple of steps forward, Snuffle pressed tightly to his chest. It was almost comical seeing a tough guy with tattoos and piercings cuddling with a toy. “Because I was an asshole and I scared you and I am so sorry for acting that way. I was not myself that day.”  
“No, I mean, why would you buy all these things when I all I want is an explanation.” Kurt replied.  
“I´m afraid it´s not that easy.”  
“It is that easy. I am here to listen and to understand and not to judge. Don´t you remember? All those people judge but we keep on shining. You keep on shining in my eyes. I just need to understand.”  
“I can´t tell you everything to be honest. Not yet at least.”  
“Well then what can you tell me? Apart from saying you´re sorry?”  
Blaine´s eyes got wider and glistened with emotions he would never be able to express that vividly. Kurt understood though, his heart open and grieving, not letting him off the hook despite that.   
“I am sorry.”  
“And what exactly are you sorry for?” Kurt took a seat, weighted down by the fight.” For your outburst or me having seen it?”   
“Both.”  
“I thought so.” Not meeting Blaine´s eye, he picked on a muffin. He felt the burden of the next words clog him more than the pastry did .”If you don´t have anything to say, maybe you should leave.”  
It came out as a whisper. Blaine stood there, not moving and not talking either. Kurt suspected that neither of them looked at each other, avoiding the pain that would come with it.   
He only realized how much he had yearned for that outcome when Blaine sat down next to him, prying off his hands from a plastic back. His knuckles where bloody and blue, swollen on most places and still he held Kurt´s hand as if it was made out of porcelain rather than skin and bone. As if he was the broken one.   
And maybe they he was as well.  
When Blaine started to speak he sounded the most vulnerable he ever had.  
“I am in treatment for anger control, but sometimes I just flip out. I can´t remember details of that day but when I saw you in danger it was as if- as if someone had flipped the switch and I couldn´t control myself anymore. There was no point in trying to hold back because I wanted to keep you save.”  
“Are these issues what those pills the guy mentioned are for?”  
“Sadly, yes.” He admitted as if seeking help in medication made him weak when the contrary was the case. Before Kurt could ask why the stranger would provide him with those pills though, Blaine cut in. ”But I swear to you, no matter how uncontrolled I get, I would never hurt someone I love. Never.”  
Kurt nodded, but couldn´t help but ask: “Have you ever hit Sebastian?”  
“To be honest, I did. A year ago or so he said something really, really bad and I hit him. I wouldn´t say it was this- this uncontrollable monster inside of me though. It was my own decision to teach him some manners and he hit me right back.”  
“And how do you know it won´t happen with me?”  
“Because you are different, Kurt.” Blaine´s gaze was intense and Kurt was rendered unable to look away. Caught in a spider web of half-truths and feelings. ”Because I´m in love with you. Have been for a while and you are the best thing that could have ever happened to me. And I say that in fear of losing you because of those feelings and in hopes you feel the same way. I love you. I am wrecked and wrong but I will try even harder for you. It is you who finally has set a goal for me to overcome this.”  
“Blaine, I-“  
“I can promise you that I will never hurt you. Never! I know you think I´m lying to you but I am not. Someday you will be the only one knowing all of my demons if you want to. I know the water is rough right now but- I guess I should stop talking now.”  
“I don´t know if I can trust you yet.” Kurt confessed. “Not after that.”  
“Okay.” As if stung, Blaine´s hand let go. Kurt was lucky he remained seated long enough for him to explain.   
“Hey. Stop moping.” He gently raised Blaine´s chin with a finger.”I would say yes to dating though. I want to get to know you even better and just because I am already in love with you, doesn´t mean we can´t test the waters first.”  
“You love me too?” Blaine asked. It broke something inside of Kurt to hear the disbelief and the joy. As if it was hard to fall in love with Blaine.  
“I love you.” He said with conviction. ”It´s too soon for us to say that, right before our first date, huh?”  
“Who cares? I´m in love with you, Kurt. Is it also too early to ask for a kiss?”  
Kurt grinned.“No!”  
And then they both leaned in, not quite meeting their lips perfectly at first try, but at second and it was perfect. Kurt did not have many kisses to compare this one to, but he felt in his core that it was the first that felt this right. It felt surreal to have those hands, bruised by brutality, cup his cheeks. No one had ever made him feel this way and beyond all point of comprehension, he knew that Blaine would keep his promise. Whatever was to come, Kurt would never forget the taste and feel of his lips or the words that had been on them seconds prior.   
~

Their first date was taking place right in Kurt´s apartment the same night. Together they stuffed themselves and the other with tons of sweets Kurt would regret eating the next day. How things could feel familiar and different, Kurt couldn´t grasp, but it was too good a feeling to not dwell in it.   
“I feel ten pounds heavier.” Blaine exclaimed. Currently he was lying with his head in Kurt´s lap, rubbing his stomach.”Would you still love me if I was chubby.”  
“Do I really look that shallow to you?”  
“Well, you are pretty concerned about you appearance, so who knows? Maybe you just fell for my awfully good looks.”  
He felt a mixture of being offended and happiness and went with the later one. Blaine had a point actually, he did look good and that contributed to his feelings. It was not the reason for his love though. It never would compare to how he felt about Blaine´s character and the chemistry that was right only when they were together.   
“Wow. I never knew that I could smell exaggerated self-love but thanks to you I now discovered my new ability.”  
Blaine laughed, pulling him down to another kiss, as if there mouths were not swollen yet from the countless ones they´d already shared.   
“You´re welcome.” He whispered against Kurt´s lips. That led to another kiss, tongues tasting and wanting more.   
Soon after, Kurt pulled away when the sensation was too much for their supposedly first date. “What now?”  
“I can think of a thing or two.” Blaine said seductively, his eyebrows wiggling.   
Before he could give into the harmless try, Kurt stood up. A big smile appeared on his lips at Blaine´s yelp when his head landed on the cushion. Kurt leaned over, peering into the basket for the next thing they could do on their unusual date.  
“Appears you have to live without my lap as your pillow.” Kurt said over his shoulder.  
“I´ve got a nice view in exchange for that.”  
Having spotted something very interesting he retrieved the devices and turned around. He took his time trying to understand what Blaine had meant until he followed his recent line of vision and blushed.   
“I´m not sure if I should be flattered or offended by you for staring at my behind.”  
“It´s a nice ´behind´.” Blaine commented with a smirk.  
“You can thank Marc Jacob´s jeans for that.”  
“I´d rather thank you!”


End file.
